just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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