I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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