last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
