do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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