Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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