weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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