I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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