you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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