What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
