It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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