You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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