He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize