Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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