R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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