I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
