I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
