I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
