Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
