I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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