She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
