I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
