just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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