Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
