the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
