He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
