I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize