i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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