I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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