My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
