I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
