4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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