She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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