why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize