I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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