You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
