I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
