I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
