she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
