I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
