I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
