i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
