You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize