i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
