Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
