I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
