wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
