He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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