Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
