Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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