they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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