she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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