STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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