she looked like the before picture.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My feet surprised me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
