I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
