all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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