your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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