I can feel you judging me through the phone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
