a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
