would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
