Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
