why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize