you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
