he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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