I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
