Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
